Bedtime Stories
by Darley1101
Summary: S5. unable to sleep alone after the debacle with Rebecca Alex turns to Izzie. Izzie has her own night time demons that have her welcoming Alex back into her bed. In the dark of night they start spilling the truths of their lives.
1. Cleaning out the my closet

Title: Bedtime Stories

Author: Darley1101

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Alex and Izzie

Premise: Season 5, unable to sleep alone after the debacle with Rebecca Alex turns to Izzie. Izzie has her own night time demons that have her welcoming Alex back into her bed. In the dark of night they start spilling the truths of their lives. Will it bring them closer or tear them apart for good?

Author's Note: I wrote this a couple years ago but it is one of my favorites. Hope you enjoy!

One

_Cleaning Out My Closet_

Silently, mindful of the soft snores coming from the room just down the hall, Izzie tip toed the short distance between her room and Alex's. It was her night. Last night had been his. There were nights, like tonight, when it was freezing cold and the wooden floor threatened to make her toes go numb, that she wished every night was his night.

She couldn't remember whose idea it had been, them sleeping together. It had started shortly after Rebecca's breakdown, when Alex had begged her to stay. There had been no choice really, her heart wouldn't let her leave. So, she had stayed, curled up next to him, holding him tightly while he silently fought the demons that warred in his mind, whispering stupid stories about her past.

At first they spent every night in his bed. It had seemed logical, as he was the one who couldn't sleep. The trouble was, neither could she. His bed was too hard, and her feet always ended up tangled in the covers. So, they had compromised. They would alternate nights. One night in his bed, one night in her's. It would have made more sense to do it weekly, but neither of them made a move to suggest it.

Izzie tapped her fingers on the glass window that dominated the upper portion of Alex's door, then eased it open. He was curled on his side, wearing his regulation black tank top and gray sweat pants. Drawing back the covers, she eased her body down next to his. Right off her frozen toes sought the warmth his body provided. She wiggled her body up next to his, her feet finagling their way between his legs.

"What the hell!" Alex sucked in his breath, his body twisting around so he faced her. "Haven't you ever heard of socks?" Even amidst his objections, he shifted his body to warm her's.

"Ever hear of not mocking your best friend," she shot back. She wasn't sure why she had referred to herself as his best friend, it had slipped out before she could stop it. Some how they had become just that though; each other's best friend. For a split second she felt some guilt over replacing George with Alex but it quickly subsided. Things hadn't been the same with George since their disaster of a romantic relationship. "Besides, my feet wouldn't be so cold if you could just concede that my room is better."

"Only in your mind," Alex grumbled. He sighed, then partially buried his face in his pillow. "You don't have to keep doing this you know."

"What? And miss out on having my feet warmed? Ha. You're not getting rid of my cold toes that easily mister." Izzie snuggled closer. She touched her forehead to his. "It's okay Alex," she said softly. "I don't mind. Really."

"I don't get it. I use to be able to sleep just fine." His breath was hot on her neck. She shivered, then buried the yearning that had taken root. She had mistaken friendship for something more once before. She couldn't afford to do it again, not with Alex, not when he meant so much to her. "I can't stop thinking about her though."

"Do you want to talk about it?" They played this game every night. He would confess to not being able to stop thinking about 'her', and she would ask if he wanted to talk. He never did, but she kept offering on the off chance that one day he might. She was some what grateful that he kept his thoughts to himself, as she wasn't sure she was strong enough to listen to him mourn Rebecca.

"I use to think it was her way of not dealing with my dad's shit." Alex said quietly. Izzie's lips parted slightly, her eyes widened in shock. He was talking. He was finally talking. And it wasn't about Rebecca; it was his mother. "That she was doing what I did. Pretending she was any place but there. Any place where he wasn't."

"Maybe she was," Izzie suggested, her voice a mere whisper. "Maybe she went some where, became someone, who didn't have an abusive husband." Her fingers gently stroked his bicep. To and fro, she trailed her fingers, her face intent on his. "I know that is what I would do."

"No," Alex shook his head. "You wouldn't stay. Especially if you had a child. You would leave."

Izzie started to dispute his claim, then stopped. He wouldn't understand. He was, in many ways, a lost little boy who needed his mother. She couldn't bring his mother back, nobody could, but she could be there for him. Even if it meant bearing her own painful past. "I ever tell you that I used to pretend I was Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman? Minus the prostitute part of course." She felt his hand settle on her thigh. She sucked in her breath, ignoring the tingle that shot up her leg. "I figured that if someone like her could find a rich man willing to over look her past then so could I. Closest I got was the son of the mine's foreman. He was everything I thought I wanted. Not that sixteen year old girls really know what they want." She closed her eyes, concentrated on regulating her heartbeat. She needed strength to get through the next part. "I made it so easy for him. I wanted to believe everything he was saying. I was so blind to his faults, to the fact that he was telling everyone about every single thing we did." She gulped down the lump forming in her throat. "I thought that the rumors were made up by jealous girls who hated me because I had him and they didn't. I didn't want to believe that he could be so mean, so cruel. I found the hard way that he was." Her breath whooshed out of her mouth. She could do this. Alex had spilled his heart before her. She could return the favor. Telling him was no different than telling Bailey or George. Oh, who was she kidding? It was completely different. She had been matter of fact with them, with Alex she was ripping open old wounds and letting the pain ooze out. "The first words out of his mouth when I told him I was pregnant was he wasn't responsible. Girls like me, girls who grew up in trailer parks and spread their legs for any boy who asked, should know how to keep from getting into that sort of situation." There was no stopping the solitary tear that crept out of the corner of her eye. "I wasn't like that though. I was a virgin before I met him, and I thought everything would be okay if he pulled out. Looking back, I can't believe I was ever stupid enough to fall for that."

"You weren't stupid," Alex whispered, his fingers reaching out to brush a few stray curls from her cheek. "You cared about him. You wanted to see the good in him."

She nodded. She had wanted to see the good in 'him'. "There wasn't any good though. Just in my head. I lived in a pretty world where the rich guy was going to make everything okay. Instead, he made my life worse. If I was made fun of and teased before, it was nothing like after people found out I was pregnant. Yeah, there were other girls in the same predicament, but they didn't have some stupid prick telling people they were lying whores. I knew I couldn't keep her. I knew that I wanted her life to be better than mine. I didn't want her to have to dream about prince charming rescuing her. I wanted her to have a life where she didn't need to be rescued. So, I did what I thought was best. I gave her up. And, god it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do." She blinked back the sheen of tears that had formed. "It was the right thing to do, though. For her. For me." Her eyes closed again as Alex gathered her close. She was suppose to be comforting him. Instead, he was the one offering her solace. "It's so easy, Alex. It is so easy to see only the good in someone. To be blinded by their faults because you need them to be some one else, some one good."

"Do you think that's true? That my mom didn't realize how bad he was because she wanted him to be good?" There was no missing the sarcasm in his voice. She sighed, then brushed her lips across his cheek before twisting her body so that her back was up flush to his chest. His arm wrapped around her waist, his fingers grazing just under her breast. "Night, Iz," he murmured in her ear. She whispered a good night in return before closing her eyes.


	2. Love Letters On Wet Paper

Two

Love Letters On Wet Paper

The idea that he, Alex Karev, was no longer able to sleep alone bordered on ridiculous. Yet, there he was, standing outside Izzie's bedroom door because, damn it, he couldn't sleep alone. He tried. He would lay there, staring up at the ceiling, and the demons would stir in his mind, making sleep impossible. Unless Izzie was there. For whatever reason Izzie seemed to chase the demons away.

Quietly, he inched her door open. He leaned against the doorframe, watching her for a moment. Her blonde curls were spread out across her dark colored pillow, and one arm hung off the side of the bed. "Iz," he whispered, moving away from the door frame. She mumbled something, then rolled onto her side. She blinked, pushed herself into a semi-sitting position, then squinted her face up, staring at him.

"You're late," she mumbled, falling back against the bed. She let out a groan, flopping one arm over her eyes. "I thought you weren't coming."

"I almost didn't," Alex admitted. He gulped, sweat beading his upper lip. He had tried. He had needed to try, because he couldn't keep sleeping next to Izzie. Every time she rolled in her sleep, her body pressing against his, he wanted to touch her. He wanted to trail his fingers over every inch of her body, re-explore all her curves with his mouth. "Thought you might want a night to yourself," he lied.

"That's crazy," she yawned. Her arm reached across the bed and pulled the covers back. "Why would I want a night to myself?"

A million different answers raced through Alex's head. He didn't dare voice any of them out loud. "Thought you might be tired of my snoring," he teased as he climbed into his side of the bed. His side of the bed, the thought gave him a moment's pause.

"You don't snore," Izzie chuckled. She rolled onto her side, propping her chin in the palm of her hand. "Seriously, why weren't you here earlier? I waited up on you."

He felt a flash of guilt. He hadn't thought about her, about whether she would wait up or not. He had assumed she would fall asleep, which was ridiculous because she always waited up on him. It was one of the things he lov…liked about her. "Sorry," he apologized, settling down under the light weight comforter that covered her bed. She snuggled close the moment he was in his usual sleeping position. "Iz, why do you do this?"

"Do what?" She asked, wiggling her body closer still. He bit his lip to keep from groaning when her ass ground against his crotch. She was killing him, didn't she realize that? He hoped she couldn't feel the hard on he was starting to sport.

"This. Us. Me sleeping with you. Why do you do it?" Alex couldn't resist pressing a soft kiss on her bare shoulder. It was pushing the boundaries they had established their first night together. If she noticed the crossed line, she didn't say anything.

"I don't know. At first I think it was because you needed me. Now, I'm not sure how I would sleep with out you." She found his hand in the dark, laced her fingers through it, and drew their connected hands up to her face. Gently she pressed a kiss to his knuckles. "Which is going to eventually present a problem."

"It is?" He buried his nose in her silky hair, closing his eyes. He knew what she was referring to. At some point one of them would meet some one, and that person would fill the void. That was the point she was referring to. He wanted to tell her that nobody could replace her, not in his bed, not in his heart.

"Well, yeah. What happens when you meet someone?" Izzie turned to face him, their faces less than an inch apart. He could feel the soft inhale and exhale of her breath on his face, could smell the mint of her toothpaste. "Three's a crowd."

'I'm not going to meet anyone," he assured her. It was lie. They both knew that he would eventually meet someone, just like she would eventually meet someone. It was the way life went. People met. They fell in love or, in his case, lust.

"You could," Izzie argued. Her body shifted closer to his. "You could meet someone tomorrow. Or the day after that. Maybe next week." She sighed. "We really are going to have to figure out a way to sleep alone."

"Iz, I'm not going to meet anyone, okay. Not any time soon. I'm not ready." Not ready to try and move on from her, again. Not ready to lay with his arms wrapped around someone else's body. Not ready to fall out of love with Izzie.

"Oh God. Alex. I'm so sorry. Here I am, all worried about how I'm going to sleep alone when you're still hurting. I suck in the friend department." Izzie rolled onto her back, her gaze fixed straight ahead. "I just…I don't know…I feel like we've really gotten to know one another, know what I mean?" She looked at him again, a sliver of moonlight illuminating the odd look on her face. "And I don't want to see you hurt. You've been through enough without having to deal with a crappy rebound relationship."

"Speaking from experience are we?" His tone was teasing, yet the question was serious. For months he had longed to really ask her about George. He had been a coward, though, afraid that she would admit the other man had been her one true love and she was ruined for other men.

"Yeah, I guess I am." Izzie sat up, drawing her legs to her chest. "Have you ever cared so much about some one and had them hurt you so deeply that you would do anything to make that pain go away? Even convince yourself that you loved some one else?" Yeah. He had been there. Hence how he had become involved with Rebecca; another attempt to rid his heart of Izzie. He couldn't voice that aloud though. It would lead to too many questions, and he wasn't up to giving answers. So, he said nothing. "No? Well, it isn't fun, or pretty. It's like…you're wandering around, all hurt and vulnerable and people are staring at you, wondering when you are going to crack. You get tired, so tired, of being whispered about, of being the person who was broken. So, you make yourself move on. You attach yourself to someone safe. Someone you know won't hurt you. Some one you know won't sleep with nurses, or make you feel all these crazy, irrational things."

It was slow in sinking in. She wasn't talking about Denny, she was talking about him. He was the one who had hurt her so badly she had done whatever necessary to move on. "Iz…" he started. The shaking of her head stopped him.

"It isn't your fault. And it isn't like I didn't care about Denny. I did. Who wouldn't? He was an easy guy to care about. So was George. Safe choices. Safe and wrong." She scooted around until she was sitting cross legged, staring down at him. "Love isn't safe, Alex. It is more complex than that. It's…messy. Messy and unpredictable." He nodded. Yes, love was those things, and more. Much more. "It's also wonderful. When it's with the right person. And just because you've been hurt doesn't mean you shouldn't be open to finding someone who can appreciate you for who you are. That is what you deserve. Someone who is going to love you for you." The bed shifted once more, this time from her repositioning herself beside him. "That's what you deserve. Some one who love's the real Alex." The last bit was partially mumbled, and seconds later he watched her chest rise and fall in the slow, steady rhythm of sleep. She didn't realize it, he would bet his last dollar on that, but he had already found someone who loved the real him. She was lying right beside him.


	3. My heart's beginning to overrule my head

Chapter Three

My heart's beginning to over rule my head

The coppery taste of blood filled Izzie's mouth as she chewed her lips. For the past two nights she had been on call, which meant she had been able to avoid climbing into bed with Alex. They were fine in the light of day, treating each other as co-workers and roommates, possibly friends; once the lights went out and they lay next to each other the truth seemed to spill out. She hadn't meant to confess how deep her feelings for him had run, the words had trickled off her tongue before she could dam them up.

Shifting from her left foot to her right foot, then back again, she wondered if she shouldn't just leave well enough alone, go back to her own room and learn to deal with a life without Alex sleeping next to her. The idea left her hollow. She had become accustomed to having him beside her, holding her through the night. He said she was the one doing him the favor, but most nights she felt it was the other way around.

"Iz?"

Her body tensed, then jerked, at the sound of his voice. It had come from behind her. She turned slowly, telling herself to breath. Pasting what she hoped was a believable smile on her face she looked met his steady gaze. "Hey. Thanks for scaring the bajeebies out of me!" A hesitant laugh tickled the back of her throat and then turned into a dry cough.

"Sorry. You ready for bed?" The way he said it, so casual, had her nodding. Visibly her body relaxed. He wasn't going to make an issue over her confession. She sent up a silent thank you. She wasn't ready, or certain, she could handle it if he did. Smiling faintly, she nodded and followed him into his bedroom. His plaid comforter was pulled back, the dark colored sheets exposed and the pillows plumped. Izzie watched as Alex fell on his side of the bed, his eyes instantly closing. "You coming?"

"Yeah." Izzie took a deep breath, then curled up on the side of the bed that had become her's. She drew her knees up to her chest, her body tense as she waited. Still, under the cover of darkness, he said nothing. Disappointment ricocheted through her. It was a bit unsettling, this realization that she wanted them to discuss her former feelings. "Alex?"

"Hmm?" He mumbled. The bed shifted around, his body rolling into her's. "No talking. Not tonight. Just sleep. Gotta figure things out." Some of the tension eased from Izzie's body. All of it quietly slipped away when he wrapped an arm around her waist, his nose settling into it's usual spot near her ear. The sound of his soft breathing lulled her to sleep, as did the thought that he had to figure things out.


	4. Take Time To Realize

Chapter Four

Take Time To Realize…

Crusts of sleep started to form in the corners of his eyes as Alex fought to focus on the image of Ellis performing a heart transplant. The last few nights he had managed to avoid talking to Izzie by stumbling upstairs so insanely tired he passed out before one word could be uttered. His attempt to do the same tonight wasn't going quite the way he had hoped, since only half an hour ago Izzie had called him on his charade, and told him if he thought so little of their friendship that he would rather watch a cold, vicious woman cut people open than talk to her then maybe they weren't friends after all.

"Not friends? Ha." Alex muttered, reaching for the mug of coffee that sat in front of him on the stained coffee table. He took several sips of the cold liquid and spit it back out. Three hour old coffee was disgusting, and really he didn't actually want it, not anymore. "If we're not friends then what are we?"

The answer to that question was the 'thing' that lingered between the two of them. Problem was he wasn't sure of the answer at the moment. No. That wasn't true. He knew what the answer was, he just wasn't sure he was ready to share it and have his heart broken again. There was no doubt in his mind that Izzie would break him; she didn't care about him in the same manner, not anymore. He was too late. "Story of my life," he sighed. Always too late in realizing the truth.

A soft knock on the front door brought a frown to his face. Guests at three in the morning wasn't an uncommon occurrence, but it was almost like the guest didn't want them to know they were there. He eased himself off the sofa and made his way to the door. An invisible fist slammed into his gut when he made out the face of the person on the other side. There was no mistakening the long brown hair or the wide set hazel eyes that changed color depending on her mood.

"Rebecca," he said hoarsely, opening the door to the other woman he had tried to love. He stumbled back, not sure he could stand close to her. Whatever pain Izzie had inflicted upon him, it was nothing compared to the pain Rebecca caused. "What…what are you doing here?"

Rebecca shifted from side to side, her nervousness apparent even in the dark. "I…can I come in? Just for a minute. Just so we can talk." She stared at him expectantly, looking nothing like the woman he had met or the woman he had said goodbye to. This woman wasn't Jane Doe or Ava. He was willing to bet she was Rebecca, though, because her wedding ring was back on her left hand.

"Just a minute. And you'll have to be quiet. Izzie and Meredith are asleep." She nodded, stepping inside. Her eyes took it all in as though she was seeing the dark paneled foyer for the first time. "You're in. Say what you need to say," he snapped.

"I know I said it before, but I am sorry. I realize that doesn't make up for what I put you through, or that you will ever believe me. I do mean it, though. I mean it more than I have ever meant anything I have ever said." Rebecca said softly. Her fingers knotted together, twisting right below her breasts. "I'm taking medication now. Jeff makes sure I take my pills every single day. I wouldn't have been able to leave the rehab center if he hadn't promised to do that. I'm not sure where things are going with him, but for now he's willing to take care of me."

"Good," Alex said, shocked by how much he meant it. He had come to the point where he couldn't hate Rebecca for hurting him, and he couldn't wish ill will upon her. "Are you still seeing the…you know…shrink?"

She nodded. "I am. That is partially why I am here. I've talked about you a lot with Dr. Wilkes. He seems to think that you were using me as much as I was using you. I didn't want to believe him at first, but the more I think about it, the more I realize he is correct. You used me too, Alex. You may not realize it right now, but one day I hope you do. Not because I want an apology. I don't. I don't need one, because I understand." She reached out, laid a hand on his forearm. He stared down at the pale fingers and perfectly manicured nails.

"Alex, I am so sorry…" Izzie's voice trailed off with a hard oh. Even in the dark he could see her throat working up and down. Her face had gone ashen, and the fingers she lifted to the railing shook. "What…what is she doing here?"

"I came to talk to Alex," Rebecca said calmly. "I don't think this conversation concerns you."

Izzie's lips narrowed, as did her eyes. "You're right, this doesn't concern me." There was no missing the hurt on her face. "However, Alex is my friend. One I care about a lot. And all you do is cause him pain. So, if you care, even just a shred, you'll leave him alone."

"You want to talk about hurting him?" Rebecca laughed, shaking her head. "Why do you think Alex turned to me? It was because he couldn't stand being around you. He couldn't stand being near you knowing you didn't care about him the way he cared about you."

Alex stared blankly at the wall behind Izzie's head. They were both right. Rebecca only caused him pain; and he had only turned to her because he couldn't have Izzie. That didn't mean he hadn't had real feelings for her, that he didn't still have feelings. He had tried to let her go, told himself she was toxic, but knowing how she was and convincing his heart was another matter. His gaze dropped to Rebecca, emotion thickening his throat. She reminded him so much of his mother, of the woman she could have been.

"You're wrong," Izzie choked, her dark eyes bright with unshed tears. "He never cared about me the way he cares about you." Her voice brought him back to reality. Rebecca obscured his view, granting him only a glimpse of wavy blonde hair and long tanned legs.

"You're right. He never cared about you the way he cared about me." Rebecca said softly. Alex felt ill, as though he had been on the Tilt-A-Whirl just after eating. Bile rose in the back of his throat. He wanted to deny Rebecca's claim but no words would come. "Be glad he didn't, because what he felt for me wasn't real. It was a made up emotion. A way to forget about you." Rebecca moved, revealing a confused Izzie. "Only, you never really forget the people you love, do you?" She smiled sadly, touching her hand to Alex's cheek. "I'm always going to have a special place in my heart for you Alex Karev." Her touch lingered for a second before she left the way she had come, quietly and almost reluctantly.

His eyes were drawn up to Izzie. Their gazes locked, her fingers tightening on the banister. "Is it true?" She asked, need ringing in her voice. "Do…do you? Do you love me?" He looked away. "Answer me, Alex. Do. You. Love. Me?"


	5. Epilouge

Epilogue

Darkness greeted Alex as he unlocked the front door to the apartment he had called home for the last two years. He expertly maneuvered around the wrought iron table that set to the left of the door, dropped his keys on the marble top as he passed by, and headed for the master bedroom that was down a short hallway. A soft nightlight glowed through the opened bathroom door, casting a faint hint of light on the king sized four poster bed that took up most of the space. Curled on her side, long blonde curls spread across the ice blue pillow case, was Izzie. He couldn't help but smile faintly as took her in.

It had been three years since she asked him if he loved her. He had almost lied and told her no, he had been that scared she would reject him. He had found the courage to put himself out there one last time, and wasn't disappointed. The moment he said the words, she said them back. Any doubt he might have had on true her sentiments were, were erased when he looked in her eyes.

Six months into the relationship, he proposed. Another seven months and he found himself married to the woman of his dreams. That had been two years ago. Two years of marital bliss that he hadn't thought could get any better. He had been wrong in thinking things couldn't get better, he thought as he stripped down to his boxers.

Izzie murmured in her sleep, but didn't move. He edged up behind her, fitting her body against his. He slid his arm over her waist and rested the palm of his hand on her rounding stomach. The small life nestled there stirred and pushed back. He smiled, caressing the second greatest thing to ever happen to him, Izzie being the first.


End file.
